A recent article by Erika Napoletano (who I think is one of the best writers in Denver, by the way) tackles a subject that I’ve been trying to implement for a while: disruption. To disrupt means to do something that scares you, whether presenting a new idea or taking on a new challenge. In this context, I take it to mean disrupting my own comfortable rhythm of the day-to-day and taking a real risk. I can’t even iterate how important this has become in helping me feel alive. Whether speaking up with a radical idea in a meeting with lots of folks way higher up the ladder than you or jumping out of an airplane, you’ve got to go for it. The rewards can be so much more than you expected.
What this recently looked like in my personal (well, semi-professional) life was playing my first show with a new band. These guys are all top-notch musicians who can hang with the best of the best professional musicians out there. I didn’t consider myself anywhere near the level of musicianship as them, and the thought of taking the stage with them sort of terrified me. But I decided I’d never know quite what I was capable of unless I pushed to find out. Well, we played that first show, and guess what? Turns out I can hold my own. Did I practice the songs almost every day leading up to the show? Yes. Did 98% of me think I wouldn’t be able to pull it off? Yes. But I didn’t listen to that. I listened to that two percent that told me I could do it. Taking the risk and achieving what I set out to in this case has changed my own perception of myself as a musician…and that is extending into my life in general. I don’t plan on ever losing the humility and gratitude I have, but I do plan to continue to nurture my growing confidence that I can achieve things much greater than I previously thought I could.